It feels nice to sit in our lower level and still have feeling in my fingers after an hour or so. Our computer sits in front of an easement window (one of those underground ones) and the cold air used to flow right down from the window onto my right hand as it held the mouse. Brrrr!
What makes this so hard is the fact that it's just been over a week since our return from Trinidad, the blessed Caribbean island we try to visit as often as we can. The weather there in January is absolutely fabulous... lower humidity, less rain, cooler temps (if you call 80s cooler), and lovely greenery everywhere.
But I can't write about Minnesota weather, it just makes me too depressed. So I'll write about driving in Trinidad!
I rented a car in Trinidad for three days, and it was just like riding a bike.... In fact, I drove up to popular Maracas Bay the Monday before we left, which goes through a very busy city, plus winding mountain roads. Brian drove another carload of friends separately. I drove with a couple of American friends (relatives of our Trini friends) -- who were unfamiliar with the Trini style of driving -- and a couple of our Trini friends were with me, too (this is important to know).
To those of you wondering why driving in Trinidad is like riding a bike, they drive on the left side of the road. I had to remember not to swerve into the right lane on two-lane roads. It was actually easy to remember because I'd only ever driven on the left side in Trinidad (with the exception of my first two months living there, when I'd occasionally try to drive on the right, to my - and the other drivers' - everlasting regret) and it became familiar much more quickly this time around.
So one of our American friends got to ride in the front seat -- not a good idea for a Trini-driving newbie. I looked over at one point and she was clutching the shoulder strap of her seatbelt with both hands, scrunched down in her seat as far as she could go, with a look of terror on her face. I wanted to tell her to relax and look out the window and enjoy the scenery, but I didn't think she'd take it too well at the moment.
This was right after "the incident" where she yelled out, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? That truck is going to hit us!!!"
Let me explain one of the unspoken rules of Trini driving... when two vehicles headed toward each other come upon a car parked on the side of a narrow road (doesn't matter which side), the FASTER vehicle has the right of way, and the other vehicle pulls over to make room. Once you slow down, you forfeit your right to pass first, and then you have to wait. Every Trini driver knows this. Non-Trini drivers don't know this, so they get to learn the hard way, usually by waiting until everyone else has passed through.
So, being a Trini driver, I passed the parked car first, knowing the truck would stop. In fact, I said (in what I thought was a reassuring tone), "No, no, don't worry, he'll stop."
To which she replied (not reassured), "WHAT DO YOU MEAN, 'HE'LL STOP'?!"
And then we had to go over the rules with her. Fortunately, those other Trini drivers in the car were able to back me up on this, although they'd never thought of the rule as being "the faster vehicle has the right of way" because it was an unspoken rule. I guess I have a knack for verbalizing them. In fact, I think that rule just about sums up all of the unspoken driving rules.
Anyway, I apologize again, Maria, for that stressful drive through San Juan to Maracas Bay. Hope you can forgive me sometime in the next decade. Just kidding! We had a great time at the beach once she realized I wasn't some crackpot who never took Trini driving lessons. Wait, I never took... oh, never mind.
This whole incident reminds me of how we sometimes sit in the passenger seat of life and nervously watch the Lord driving us (if we even allow Him to take the wheel, that is), and question what He's doing, or even where He's taking us. We are stressed out, clinging to things that give us security and terrified of what's coming at us.
But if we listen hard, we can hear Him saying, "Don't worry. I've got it under control. Look out the window and enjoy the ride, and know that I'll get you there safely. Trust me." So we breathe deeply, look around and see the beauty around us, and we can enjoy it, because we know that our Driver is completely trustworthy.
Who's driving your life, and if you're not driving, have you been able to let go and appreciate the scenery?
Sunset at Mille Lacs Lake
Friday, January 28, 2011
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Between rest and atrophy
Ahhh, the quiet days of January are here. No major holidays coming anytime soon, no frantic looking about for gifts, no parties to plan. I never thought I'd say this, but I find myself enjoying this time of year more and more as I get older.
It used to be the dreaded time between holidays, when cabin fever sets in and families begin devouring each other because of the constant close quarters. Cabin fever is more of a threat in the cold and snowy midwest than you who live further south, where the sun doesn't abandon you for months at a time. Yes, we see the sun, but it doesn't do us any good.
Maybe it's because I work during the busy Christmas season and then it's all over on Christmas Eve (thank heavens). But this has become a time of recuperation for me, and I need it more each year. We all need times of rest and "re-setting" so that we don't burn ourselves out... sometimes taking others with us on the long fall into chaos.
A few years ago, I was constantly on a search for "rest," not realizing that rest doesn't come to you like a puppy in need of affection. Real rest to me is more a state of contentment, no matter what your situation. I like the poem "If" by Rudyard Kipling, the first line of which reads:
"If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you...."
While it's good to maintain a level head in times of high stress, it's good to be away from that stress at times, too. I guess I'm still working on what the word "rest" involves, because I haven't reached it yet. I know a nice vacation in a tropical area with lots of flowers and room service would be a pretty good rest for me, even with all three boys along.
By the way, Kipling's poem ends after four stanzas of "Ifs" and ends with this:
"... you'll be a man, my son!"
That line has never resonated with me, for some reason (maybe because I'm not a man). But I've tried posting this where my sons can read it, and I can only hope they read it and learn from it.
Webster defines "rest" as "peace of mind or spirit." That seems about right, when it comes to contentedness. It also gives "freedom from activity or labor" as well as "a place for resting or lodging," so that tropical vacation really fits the bill.... This is good, as Brian and I will be heading to Trinidad in three days to attend a wedding next Saturday. Can't wait, even though I know there won't be any room service (we're staying with friends), which I can definitely handle.
Another definition, and this is one that I really like and strive for: "free of anxiety." This is one that I can absolutely be in charge of, because worrying is a choice. The greatest example of humanity said it best: "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" Luke 12:22-34 is a fabulous passage on the foolishness of worrying... and what we should strive for instead.
Unfortunately, too much rest can result in one last Webster definition: "a state of motionlessness or inactivity" or "the repose of death." When we take rest too far, we atrophy and become smaller (at least our muscles do; the fat just stays and stays). Our expectations of ourselves dwindle, and soon, we feel unable to accomplish anything, and wonder why we feel trapped.
I've been there. It's a choice that's been made... not to make more choices. I wonder if that's how a lot of people just lose their purpose for living after retirement. Their world gets smaller and smaller, until the house and maybe grocery store are the extent of their travels. And then the ability to drive goes away or gets taken away, and the living room, bedroom, and kitchen are the world. Finally, just the bed, and staring at the ceiling, waiting for someone to take care of you.
That doesn't have to be my future. But maybe it is, and I have to find peace and rest within that. Maybe that's the blessing of getting older -- finding that contentment doesn't mean a tropical vacation. The contentment in knowing that your future home is going to be awesome, and while your time in this world is running out, you can impart some of your wisdom with the younger set and tell them stories of what life was like back in the day.
Somehow, my blog was hijacked. But that's the adventure in blogging, going where the Spirit leads. But I urge you, as I urge myself, to find the balance between rest and atrophy in this season of quietness. Live life fully as you recuperate from the holidays, and appreciate the downtime.
If you're not in a time of recuperation, then... so sorry! Hope you find it soon if you need it.
What's your definition of rest, and have you been getting it?
It used to be the dreaded time between holidays, when cabin fever sets in and families begin devouring each other because of the constant close quarters. Cabin fever is more of a threat in the cold and snowy midwest than you who live further south, where the sun doesn't abandon you for months at a time. Yes, we see the sun, but it doesn't do us any good.
Maybe it's because I work during the busy Christmas season and then it's all over on Christmas Eve (thank heavens). But this has become a time of recuperation for me, and I need it more each year. We all need times of rest and "re-setting" so that we don't burn ourselves out... sometimes taking others with us on the long fall into chaos.
A few years ago, I was constantly on a search for "rest," not realizing that rest doesn't come to you like a puppy in need of affection. Real rest to me is more a state of contentment, no matter what your situation. I like the poem "If" by Rudyard Kipling, the first line of which reads:
"If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you...."
While it's good to maintain a level head in times of high stress, it's good to be away from that stress at times, too. I guess I'm still working on what the word "rest" involves, because I haven't reached it yet. I know a nice vacation in a tropical area with lots of flowers and room service would be a pretty good rest for me, even with all three boys along.
By the way, Kipling's poem ends after four stanzas of "Ifs" and ends with this:
"... you'll be a man, my son!"
That line has never resonated with me, for some reason (maybe because I'm not a man). But I've tried posting this where my sons can read it, and I can only hope they read it and learn from it.
Webster defines "rest" as "peace of mind or spirit." That seems about right, when it comes to contentedness. It also gives "freedom from activity or labor" as well as "a place for resting or lodging," so that tropical vacation really fits the bill.... This is good, as Brian and I will be heading to Trinidad in three days to attend a wedding next Saturday. Can't wait, even though I know there won't be any room service (we're staying with friends), which I can definitely handle.
Another definition, and this is one that I really like and strive for: "free of anxiety." This is one that I can absolutely be in charge of, because worrying is a choice. The greatest example of humanity said it best: "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" Luke 12:22-34 is a fabulous passage on the foolishness of worrying... and what we should strive for instead.
Unfortunately, too much rest can result in one last Webster definition: "a state of motionlessness or inactivity" or "the repose of death." When we take rest too far, we atrophy and become smaller (at least our muscles do; the fat just stays and stays). Our expectations of ourselves dwindle, and soon, we feel unable to accomplish anything, and wonder why we feel trapped.
I've been there. It's a choice that's been made... not to make more choices. I wonder if that's how a lot of people just lose their purpose for living after retirement. Their world gets smaller and smaller, until the house and maybe grocery store are the extent of their travels. And then the ability to drive goes away or gets taken away, and the living room, bedroom, and kitchen are the world. Finally, just the bed, and staring at the ceiling, waiting for someone to take care of you.
That doesn't have to be my future. But maybe it is, and I have to find peace and rest within that. Maybe that's the blessing of getting older -- finding that contentment doesn't mean a tropical vacation. The contentment in knowing that your future home is going to be awesome, and while your time in this world is running out, you can impart some of your wisdom with the younger set and tell them stories of what life was like back in the day.
Somehow, my blog was hijacked. But that's the adventure in blogging, going where the Spirit leads. But I urge you, as I urge myself, to find the balance between rest and atrophy in this season of quietness. Live life fully as you recuperate from the holidays, and appreciate the downtime.
If you're not in a time of recuperation, then... so sorry! Hope you find it soon if you need it.
What's your definition of rest, and have you been getting it?
Saturday, January 1, 2011
NO resolutions! Just baby steps....
A new year beginning... a fresh slate, a clean calendar, a new outlook. At least that's what everyone tells us. To me, January 1st is often just like any other day (besides the fact that it's my birthday), with the exception that yes, we do start with a new calendar.
I don't do the "New Year's Resolution," at least not the capitalized version. I've found that resolutions made in one day often don't stick around past the end of the month. A friend of mine makes a list of goals to be accomplished, which is helpful if you keep that list in front of you and then review it at the end of the year to see what's been ticked off (besides the people you normally tick off. Ha.). I would most likely forget to keep the list in view, and then lose it somewhere around April.
A far better way for me is to add little habits to my daily life. One little baby step at a time, to make changes that ultimately amount to quite a lot.
On New Year's Eve, my dear sis-in-law Michelle and I were working on a Thomas Kinkaid 1000 piece puzzle that was beautiful but so darn frustrating to put together ("oh look, a pink flower..." "there are 4 spots with pink flowers, choose one" "oh look, some blue wavy bits...." "AUGH!"). My second son came by, took one look at our lack of progress and said, "good... work." And then with a sly smile, sidled away, only to come back a few minutes later with another similarly unencouraging word.
After a couple minutes of this, Michelle said, "My, you are a patient mom" (because I had not whacked him upside the head yet). I serenely smiled and said, "God knew that I needed work in the patience area; that's why he gave me son #2." Those of you who truly know me can now sit back up and wipe the tears out of your eyes, but that is God's truth. If it weren't for my children, especially #2, I would definitely be a different person.
All this to say that one of the things I've been working on is controlling my tongue (I know, baby steps). Impatience often comes about from lack of control in that area. That's how we let people know that they are WASTING OUR TIME. But when we control our tongues, we can stop and think about what we are really thinking and how we really want to treat people.
I work on it, consciously, conscientiously, almost every day. And it's a battle! I have to think of when I am being or feeling impatient, then I have to arrest the words on the tip of my tongue, and THEN, if I've still got enough strength, I think of something encouraging or nice to say instead. I KNOW! Lots of work, and I don't get it right every time, as all of you can attest.
I also work on communicating with my sons and husband. Never been very good at this, even though I can be voluminously voluble (ha!) at times, especially when I've had a lot of chocolate or caffeine (and watch out if it's both).
But these kinds of battles aren't a once-at-the-beginning-of-the-year-and-then-forget-about-it thing. They are lifelong, and we never finish. Kind of like housework, only more important. So instead of trying a "resolution" on January 1st, try a baby step. And work on it, little by little every day, not just until December 31, but for the rest of your life. Your family will thank you, and you'll be closer to the only perfect example we've ever had.
What's your baby step for the betterment of the rest of your life?
I don't do the "New Year's Resolution," at least not the capitalized version. I've found that resolutions made in one day often don't stick around past the end of the month. A friend of mine makes a list of goals to be accomplished, which is helpful if you keep that list in front of you and then review it at the end of the year to see what's been ticked off (besides the people you normally tick off. Ha.). I would most likely forget to keep the list in view, and then lose it somewhere around April.
A far better way for me is to add little habits to my daily life. One little baby step at a time, to make changes that ultimately amount to quite a lot.
On New Year's Eve, my dear sis-in-law Michelle and I were working on a Thomas Kinkaid 1000 piece puzzle that was beautiful but so darn frustrating to put together ("oh look, a pink flower..." "there are 4 spots with pink flowers, choose one" "oh look, some blue wavy bits...." "AUGH!"). My second son came by, took one look at our lack of progress and said, "good... work." And then with a sly smile, sidled away, only to come back a few minutes later with another similarly unencouraging word.
After a couple minutes of this, Michelle said, "My, you are a patient mom" (because I had not whacked him upside the head yet). I serenely smiled and said, "God knew that I needed work in the patience area; that's why he gave me son #2." Those of you who truly know me can now sit back up and wipe the tears out of your eyes, but that is God's truth. If it weren't for my children, especially #2, I would definitely be a different person.
All this to say that one of the things I've been working on is controlling my tongue (I know, baby steps). Impatience often comes about from lack of control in that area. That's how we let people know that they are WASTING OUR TIME. But when we control our tongues, we can stop and think about what we are really thinking and how we really want to treat people.
I work on it, consciously, conscientiously, almost every day. And it's a battle! I have to think of when I am being or feeling impatient, then I have to arrest the words on the tip of my tongue, and THEN, if I've still got enough strength, I think of something encouraging or nice to say instead. I KNOW! Lots of work, and I don't get it right every time, as all of you can attest.
I also work on communicating with my sons and husband. Never been very good at this, even though I can be voluminously voluble (ha!) at times, especially when I've had a lot of chocolate or caffeine (and watch out if it's both).
But these kinds of battles aren't a once-at-the-beginning-of-the-year-and-then-forget-about-it thing. They are lifelong, and we never finish. Kind of like housework, only more important. So instead of trying a "resolution" on January 1st, try a baby step. And work on it, little by little every day, not just until December 31, but for the rest of your life. Your family will thank you, and you'll be closer to the only perfect example we've ever had.
What's your baby step for the betterment of the rest of your life?
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