What, Really?

After reading my last post, some of you may be saying that very thing: "What, really?  Is this some kind of Sunday School thing?  'Be a light'?  What kind of purpose is that?!"  I have some reasons for my "simplistic" conclusion from that night:

1. I was very emotional, and it made sense to me at the moment
2. It was night time -- I was tired
3. I didn't explain it or even understand it fully
4. I'm a woman, that's my prerogative
5. I had waaaaay too much chocolate that evening (ok, that's not really a reason -- see #4)

In the bright sunshine of day, as I think further on what I heard from God that night, being a light is suddenly more complicated than I thought.  Shallowness of thought is what comes naturally to me, especially when  I fill all of my "air time" with itunes/internet/radio/television/chatter (even praying without listening)....  I don't often take the time to think things through thoroughly.  Say THAT five times fast.

So what does it mean to be a light?  Is it helpful to picture myself as a lightbulb or candle or glow-in-the-dark bracelet?  Is it doing certain things or being a certain way?

Some of the things light does:

• illuminates
• guides
• gives comfort and courage
• keeps you from stumbling
• heals
• gives life
• provides a focus
• and many, many, many more things

Often I feel compelled to start making a list of what I need to DO when I see a statement like "Be a light."  I think to myself...

"Oooh, I'm gonna start doing my housework more excellently all the time...
I'll always be patient and never yell at my kids again...
I will go out and talk to all of my neighbors...
and invite them all over for lunch over the course of the next 3 months....

I've set myself up for failure, because there's no way to keep that up forever, or even through the end of the week.

Then, inspiration (or God again?) struck... I am NOT the source of the light!  It flows through me and comes from God Himself... I am the glass or vessel through which it flows, and when it appears dim, that's me blocking the light somehow.

I can try to do all these things and get in His way, or I can rest in Him and let Him shine through me... which all comes down to trust.  I trust that He is in control and has a plan for my life, even this part of my life.  As a bonus, I get real peace because everything I do has a reason... it's not useless.

I get out of His way by pushing aside my pride, my selfishness, my need to be praised by people.  Sounds so simple, yet it's so hard!  But the purpose of letting the light shine is so others can see God more clearly, not me.

Now that I've possibly confused you more, I'm going to call it quits.  I'm still working it out and trying to understand and be obedient to what I'm hearing (kind of like personal therapy).  If you have any thoughts or comments, feel free to post.  I'm pretty thick-skinned :-).