Listening to that little voice

Why do we put off doing good? I know that sounds so grammatically wrong, but I'm talking about deeds of goodness here, just to clarify. I often get a little voice that says, "You should do this for that person, that would really help them out." It's worrisome when I respond to that little voice out loud, but that doesn't happen very often.

When I respond and actually do the good thing, I usually feel great afterward. Sometimes it ends up being awkward and I don't feel so great, like the time I saw a young woman (late teens, early 20s?) walking on the side of the highway on a snowy, blustery winter day. She looked REALLY cold, so I stopped ahead of her to ask her if she needed a ride. It was hard to get to the shoulder because of the heavy traffic that was moving pretty fast, and the shoulder was really slippery.

Now I don't normally make it a habit to stop and offer rides to people, but I figured she looked too cold to be ready to rob me or whatever. What I didn't think about at the moment was how it would look to HER -- a gray van pulling over and slowing to a stop in front of her. Plus, I had pulled over to avoid the traffic, and that didn't leave her any room to walk on the plowed part, so she had to go into the deeper snow to get past the van.

When I rolled down the window (wow, that's an inaccurate term nowadays) to ask her if she needed a ride, she very politely smiled and said, "No, thanks" and kept on walking. Well, DUH! After I thought about it for two and a half seconds, I realized that young women should never accept rides from strangers unless they're bleeding uncontrollably, and even then, to be very careful about it.

So that good deed turned out really bad, but I think I would have felt worse if I hadn't stopped. I think that's one of the reasons I argue with that small voice when it tells me I should do something. I remember the times when it's gone bad, and I get discouraged from trying it again.

But what's even worse is when I don't even think about the good deed in the first place. Something happens and I think in retrospect, "Oh goodness, I could've done that to help and it would've been so much easier for them!" Then I slap myself mentally on the forehead and vow to do better next time.

I think what is required is time spent... thinking. In silence. With no noise or distraction. I am so not good at that. I'm one of those people who cannot leave the radio off in the car. There MUST be music or something. So thinking in silence is very hard for me.

A while ago, I spent a few hours sitting on the couch, just thinking about everything. I had no music, TV, computer, nothing. Just me and my notebook. WOW... that was so fruitful. I was listening to my thoughts and interacting with them (not talking out loud, either. I don't think.) and coming to some surprising conclusions.

I've done it in the car, too, when I'm driving somewhere that will take a little time (anywhere is a little time from St. Francis). When I take off the radio, I actually allow myself to think and mull over things. And then that little voice can tell me where I can do good and for whom, and I can think about other ways I can help too, instead of simply reacting to the immediate need.

As you might have guessed, the little voice that leads me to do good would be the Holy Spirit. When I listen to that voice and follow through, sometimes it feels good, and sometimes it doesn't. But that's not really the point, is it, to feel good about it? Because if we did it to feel good, it would be a little self-serving, which would kind of take away from the good deed.

Sometimes when we talk about doing a quiet time each day, we fill that time with reading or praying, or listening to music. Those are all good things, and it's good to do them every day. But there should also be times of quiet listening. Listening to ourselves or to God, and following through with those little promptings.

How will you respond the next time you hear that little voice telling you to do a good deed?

P.S. The little voice that's telling you to lie or cheat would NOT be the Holy Spirit, just sayin'!