Have you ever wondered how other people view you? Have you ever thought about how you view yourself? Life-altering questions....
I took a temperament test a few months ago, and one of the things that struck me as I read the analysis was that I apparently like shiny, prettily wrapped things... even if there's nothing inside them. Now I don't know about you, but that would seem to say something about me, and it's not good.
What does that even mean? I was taken aback by what that meant to me at first blush: that I'm a shallow person not concerned about meaning or substance -- just let it look pretty and I'll be fine with it. I'd always thought of myself as an intelligent person with some issues. According to this test, I have a lot of issues, and intelligence is definitely one of them.
My view of myself as a person skewed sideways and I was forced to view myself with new eyes. Is that really how I am? How does that show up -- in my environment, in how I deal with people, in how I deal with life?
Makes me want to get a degree in psychology just to find out. My psych teacher at St. Cloud State University told us that all psychology majors go into that degree with the intent to fix themselves. Don't know how true that is -- psych majors, help me out here. That's why I'd get MY psych degree....
Maybe I only THINK that I'm not shallow, but maybe that's what shallow people like to think so they don't throw themselves off high ledges. We all know people who we THINK are shallow, but do others think that about us? And are these people actually shallow, or do we just not know them well enough? Is it being judgmental to think that some people are shallow? And what does "shallow" even mean?
I've been known to hold a lot of strange facts in my head... you may well have been a recipient of one of my strange, little-known facts. In fact, I've even called myself the Queen of Unknown (and Why Do You Need to Know This) Trivia. Does that mean I hold onto little facts without digging into deeper meanings and more information? Do I even have enough time to look into these things in-depth? And do I need to come up with a better name?
I do know that when I'm interested in something, I will tear it apart (and the internet) trying to find information on it and become maybe a little obsessive about it. But is just knowledge any good? Should I be trying to see/process that knowledge into a bigger picture and apply it? Application is usually good, unless it involves drugs and/or immoral activities.
In the end, I have to remind myself that all tests have weaknesses; maybe this is one area that they're wrong about. Dear Lord, let them be wrong about it! Otherwise, I'd have to face the fact that my view of myself has been completely wrong for my entire 43 years.
It's nice to know that no matter my own personal weaknessess and foibles, God loves me even though He knows EVERYTHING about me. As a mom, I know that not even I have that perfect perspective about my own precious, crazy offspring.
In the meantime, if you receive a prettily-wrapped present from me with nothing inside it, I don't mean anything by it -- except that I forgot to put your gift inside. Maybe I should just stick with cards.
Let me know if the analysis is dead-on... or not. I won't hold it against you either way. Promise.
I can't say whether the analysis was accurate or not, but I think taking the so-called test in the first place may have been a mistake. I think by the time we have reached this point in life - this "crest of the hill" if you will - we are what we are and it's best to just make the best of it. Of course it's never too late to learn new things, get more exercise, or simply smooth off some rough edges of the personality. But we are who we are for the most part.
ReplyDeletevery diplomatic, Randy :-D. i was re-reading this post today and thinking, wow, i didn't delve very deeply here, did i??? my hope is i can always change, and sometimes it takes this kind of shock to the system to be aware that change is needed. thanks for commenting!
ReplyDeleteI like the name--but we will listen to the trivia anyway and act like we're enlightened for the knowledge! More knowledge is always a good thing! I knew someone when I was an undergrad that was a Psych major who had major issues to work out--I figured that was why she was in that major! I agree with Randy, we are who we are. We try to recognize things about ourselves that could be changed and can try to make those changes, but people need to like/love us for who we are despite those things.
ReplyDeletejust acting, eh? hmmmm... i'll try to rein myself in ;-D. j/k. i've always liked the saying "an unexamined life is not worth living." not to try to change yourself all the time, but at least knowing your strengths and weaknesses has got to help. thanks for saying you like the name and for commenting!
ReplyDelete