I'm sitting here feeling very disturbed after reading some comments on Facebook. People can sound so mean and dogmatic! The internet has its great points, but one of its worst is the freedom it gives some people to lash out viciously with their hate and utter contempt for those who have a differing opinion.
I like to think I'm a reasonable, rational person, but I've seen what I'm capable of to the ones I supposedly love, so I am in no way holding myself above the fray. I guess my filter is thicker where the internet is concerned, which seems to not be the norm, if what I've been reading is any indication.
Why are we so quick to assume that the other person is stupid, mean, abhorrent, or beneath us? If I took some of the comments I read today and judged those who typed them, I would make that judgment about THEM, who so freely make it of others.
It's a breath of fresh air when someone of sound mind calmly, politely, and rationally comments without the mean emotion that we're so used to seeing in comments sections. I wish more people would comment like that. I would like to BE more like that.
What brought this on is the news that the Susan G. Komen Foundation has reallocated funds from Planned Parenthood to other services. Okay, breathe deeply... let's count to 100 and put aside our immediate, gut-wrenching reactions to one of the most polarizing issues of our day... abortion.
Are you calmer? Has the red tinge left the edges of your vision?
Before we run headlong into what could be a disaster of epic proportions, I'd like to say that my goal is to understand. I want to know WHY you believe what you do. I want to understand with love and with the thought uppermost in my mind that you are a fellow human being, JUST LIKE ME, with feelings like me. And I hope that you would give me the same consideration. We are all fallible people trying to make our way in this crazy thing called life, and none of us has all the answers. NONE of us.
Part of why I want to blog about this is that at first glance, abortion seems such a big, complex issue. I want to understand it more clearly, and writing about something often makes it clearer. Not always, but usually. The other part is wanting to understand people more clearly, and why we do the things we do.
So the facts about abortion as I understand it are:
Sex results in pregnancy. Pregnancy is unwanted, so woman chooses to abort pregnancy.
Seems pretty straightforward to me. I understand the part about a woman needing to be able to choose to do what she wants with her body. As a woman, I wouldn't want anyone telling me what to do with my body. I understand all the arguments that this planet already has too many people. I understand that "people don't take care of the children they already have" (but by whose judgment?) All of these I've seen and read in comments sections.
What breaks my heart is the baby that wasn't given a chance to choose for him or herself. I think that's the crux of the issue for me. (And the whole argument over what to call who on which side of this great divide, don't start that one here!)
What I DON'T understand is how is that not an issue? What's the thought process that doesn't see that abortion is ultimately the deliberate ending of a human life? The idea that the fetus is not a viable human being before a certain time period is losing ground as more and more pre-term babies are being saved at earlier ages.
For me, the issue hangs on this very thought, that a beautiful human life was stopped before it had a chance to begin life outside the womb. It's the thought that EVERY life is valuable. Every life. Every. Life.
The choice issue... as someone who doesn't have all the answers, I know I don't want the federal government - or anyone - telling me what I need to do with my body. And this is where it does get complicated for me. My faith in humanity is not so strong that I would think every woman would realize the preciousness and potential of the baby she carries, and therefore carry it to term.
Because of that lack of trust in humanity, the idea of making abortion illegal fills me with unease and confusion. As someone who values every life so highly, I am confused by why I hesitate. Do I believe in the idea that botched home abortions would kill so many more lives? Would an underground abortion movement begin?
I don't know. There's so much I don't know. So I'm not going to be dogmatic about it. I know that God is saddened when we kick and bite each other with our words and actions. And there will be hell to pay, eventually.
I am not condemning anyone... if you've read this far, I hope you'd know that it is definitely not my intention to condemn. I just want to understand. Thanks for reading.
No matter what the topic, it is unfortunate when the "discussion" becomes acrimonius.
ReplyDeleteI can remember when I was young (so long ago) abortion talk seemed to always touch on the issue of when life begins. I think the reason we cannot discuss it rationally now is because we have left that issue behind unresolved and plowed ahead to secondary arguments. But that's like building a house without a foundation. Very little else matters except the question of when life begins.
And before that question can be answered adequately, we have to define what "life" means. If we simply take the most basic biological definition, then every cell in every blade of grass is just as "alive" as a newly-fertlized egg. That definition of life does not seem reasonable to me. I belive "life" involves a level of interaction with and understanding of your surroundings. Call it "intelligent life" perhaps, or something else. But biology is not an adequate measure of human life any more than geology is an adequate measure of a sculpture.
On the other end of the spectrum, I don't believe for a moment that an unborn child a moment before natural delivery is just a lump of cells. Frankly, I don't know anyone who does. That's a life that can survive outside the womb and deserves to be given that chance. [Note that severe birth defects complicate this issue greatly]
So, for me, it is logical to land in a place that says "life" in any meaningful definition, begins somewhere roughly in the middle between conception and delivery - somewhere near, or perhaps slightly before the fetus becomes viable outside the womb.
No one "likes" abortion. It represents a failure in our behavior and capabilities. But almost all abortions occur well before the cutoff point I described above. And almost all of those that occur after happen for reasons of severe defority that would preclude survival or much chance of quality of life. If there is a tiny number that do not fall into that either category, then I would like to see those end, too.
That is what I am comfortable with. But no matter what I am comfortable with, I don't get to decide for anyone else.
[I had to fix a typo, that's why it might say "comment has been removed" above]
Thanks, Randy. you are a breath of fresh air.
ReplyDeletebtw, i don't agree with everything greg boyd teaches, but he has a lot of good points in this article: http://www.gregboyd.org/qa/christians-social-issues/what-is-your-stance-on-abortion/
ReplyDeleteI agree that too many people get emotional and start name-calling when they don't agree with you. It is healthy to debate and discuss issues, to share viewpoints because that is what gets us ahead--to listen to people with other points of view. You don't have to agree with them, but listening to them widens your perspective and helps you to realize many other people have other ideas that are just as worthy as yours. Having said that, about abortion, I think that it is difficult to agree when life begins. I agree with much of what Randy said regarding that. As for some of the things you mentioned above, I believe there are times when an abortion, even later term ones, need to be a legal option. Some of these are when fetal abnormatlities are incompatible with life (for example, the child may live an agonizing half an hour after birth before dying), or in the case of incest, especially of an adolescent, or rape (including the rape of a vulnerable possibly diabled woman). But, as Randy said, almost all abortions are in the first trimester. And such a difficult decision needs to be made between a woman and her physician (and possibly her partner if that is part of the equation) than made by some person in a legislative office who does not know the woman or her situation. No one wants abortions to happen but it needs to be a legal option. I know women that searched for illegal abortions before they were legal; some were able to go to Mexico for them (instead of some of the awful options here).
ReplyDeletethanks, michelle, for commenting. as i read your and randy's comments, i can't help but wonder if issues wouldn't be so polarizing if everyone gave reasoned and thoughtful comments. maybe i should stop reading people's comments, but it seems that the majority of "commenters" (is that a word?) make sweeping or false statements about the "other" side, which raises the ire of that other side, who respond in kind. finding a common ground is so much more helpful and civilized.
ReplyDelete