What is the purpose of my life?

The lightbulb in the bathroom had been out for weeks and I kept forgetting to change it out.  It was one of four above the sink, so we didn't really need it, but every time I looked up, I'd mentally smack myself in the forehead for not being able to remember to change it, throw it away, and get a new one.  So when I reached up to unscrew it and it flickered and came back ON, I stared up unbelievingly, positive that this was a message.  And then the tears came.

About 30 minutes earlier, I'd been trudging around the silent house, picking up things, scowling at the 50th pair of socks on the floor, and complaining to myself about how I'm the only one who ever picks up (besides Dale, my dear dad-in-law).  After tidying up for a few minutes, I turned off all the lights and prepared to go up to shower.  But a glow outside and the emptiness inside of me caused me to go to the patio door and open it.  The cool air felt nice, and I saw a 3/4 moon glowing brightly on the horizon, lighting up the clouds around it.  But the beautiful moonlit scene was totally lost on me as I contemplated my life.

Why am I here?  What is my purpose here, now?  I cried as I thought about how the evening had gone -- my impatience with my boys and the awful day-to-day grind of doing the same things over and over: dishes, sweeping, vacuuming, laundry, picking up socks, endlessly.  My whole life felt devoid of meaning, and I wondered if my existence on this earth made any difference.

I was totally wallowing, and I let it wash over me.  I cried as I prayed, "God, show me my purpose!" not expecting any answer this night.  Sighing, I finally turned away from the door, shutting out the cool autumn air and that amazing moonlight.

The dining room was dark as I walked to the garbage bin to throw away my tissue.  Before the lid closed, however, I thought I saw a glow in the trash.  Interesting....  So I opened it up and looked in, and there, laying on top was a glow-in-the-dark bracelet, one of those cheap little souvenirs you buy at the fair after the fireworks are done.

I had thrown it in there during my begrudging clean-up earlier, thinking that the glow was gone and the thing was useless.  Dalen had gotten a whole set from his Auntie Jill for his 8th birthday two days earlier, and this one had been sitting out for almost two days.

In the light of day, the glow was not noticeable, and its purpose was hidden.  But in the darkness, the glow that still clung to it lit up the inside of that trash bin and made it look special, causing me to stop and take a second look.  God had already answered my plea to show me my purpose through this little thing... it shed its light where it was, even in the trash can.

Even feeling at the lowest I've ever been in my life, my figurative trash can, I can still give off a little light.  Just as much as I am able to, and God notices, and so do others.  I do make a difference.  I do have a purpose, even if I can't see what it is right now.

I thanked Him for that timely message.  But He wasn't done yet, because after my shower, I tried to change that "dead" light bulb, and it began to glow again.  All it needed was a little adjustment by my hand, and it was ready to give out more light.

God adjusted me tonight, and I have a little glimmer of hope, and a marvelous sense of His presence and care for me - His little light - who simply needed the touch of His hand.